“I just want to want it…”
I hear you. I get it.
It can feel incredibly discouraging, frustrating, and even isolating when you want to have desire… but your body just isn’t there.
When it comes to sex, there are two important pieces to understand:
- Desire: wanting to engage in sex
- Arousal: your body’s ability to respond physically
When I talk about libido, I am referring to desire.
And here’s the truth: libido is complex.
It is influenced by your hormones, your relationship, your nervous system, your stress levels, your past experiences, and more.
In my experience, low libido in women typically comes down to three main root areas:
- Hormonal imbalances
- Relationship dynamics
- Neurological or emotional patterns
Today, we are focusing on the hormonal side, because this is often the missing piece.
1. Low Testosterone
Testosterone is often labeled as a “male hormone,” but it plays a critical role in female libido.
In women, testosterone supports:
- Sexual desire
- Motivation and drive
- Muscle mass
- Bone health
- Brain function
When testosterone is too low, libido often drops significantly.
On the other hand, when it is too high (commonly seen in PCOS), women may experience:
- Acne
- Excess hair growth
- Increased aggression
As with most things in the body, we are looking for a balance.
Not too high. Not too low.
If your libido feels flat or nonexistent, low testosterone is often one of the first things I look at.
2. Low DHEA (Your Stress-Libido Connection)
DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone) is a hormone produced by your adrenal glands, which also produce your stress hormones.
DHEA is incredibly important because:
- It helps create other sex hormones like estrogen and testosterone
- It directly supports libido
- It plays a role in mood, energy, and aging
When you are under chronic stress, your body prioritizes survival over reproduction.
This means your body will produce more cortisol… and less DHEA.
The result?
- Lower libido
- Vaginal dryness
- Lower energy
- Mood changes
This is why so many women feel like their desire disappears during stressful seasons of life.
It’s not random. It’s physiological.
3. High Prolactin
Prolactin is known as the breastfeeding hormone.
After giving birth, prolactin rises to support milk production and naturally suppress ovulation. This is part of the body’s design to prevent immediate back-to-back pregnancies.
However, I often see elevated prolactin levels in women who are not breastfeeding.
When prolactin is high, it suppresses:
- Estrogen
- Testosterone
- Ovulation
Which can directly impact libido.
Common contributors to elevated prolactin include:
- Chronic stress
- Low vitamin B6
- Thyroid imbalances
- Low dopamine (your pleasure and reward neurotransmitter)
- Excessive cannabis use
If your libido feels “shut off,” this is a hormone worth investigating.
4. Hormonal Birth Control
Hormonal birth control is one of the most common, yet overlooked, contributors to low libido.
Birth control works by suppressing ovulation through synthetic hormones.
This suppression means:
- No natural estrogen surge
- No testosterone spike around ovulation
- No natural hormonal rhythm
And that matters.
Because for many women, libido is closely tied to ovulation, when estrogen and testosterone naturally rise.
When that rhythm is flattened, desire can feel… flat too.
Many women describe this as:
“I just don’t think about sex anymore.”
This is not in your head. It is hormonal.
Thinking About Coming Off Birth Control?
If you are starting to question whether birth control may be impacting your hormones, libido, or overall well-being, it is important to approach that transition with support.
Coming off birth control is not just about stopping a pill or removing a device. It is about helping your body re-learn its natural hormonal rhythm.
Breaking Up With Birth Control: Quick Start Guide
This free guide walks you through the first supportive steps to take before and after coming off hormonal birth control, so your body can transition more smoothly.
Inside the guide, you’ll learn:
• How to support your hormones post-birth control
• Key nutrients your body may be depleted in
• What to expect as your cycle returns
• How to begin restoring your natural rhythm
Whether birth control is part of your story or not, it is just one piece of the bigger picture. Low libido is rarely caused by one thing alone.
What To Do If You’re Struggling With Low Libido
Low libido is not something you just have to accept.
And it is not simply a mindset issue.
If your desire has changed, your body is giving you information.
Start by:
- Looking at your hormones (lab testing can be helpful)
- Evaluating stress levels and adrenal health
- Reviewing medications or birth control
- Supporting your body with the right nutrients and lifestyle shifts
This is not about “fixing” yourself.
It is about understanding what your body is trying to communicate.
Want to Understand Your Low Libido More Deeply?
If you are ready to go beyond surface-level advice and actually understand your body, I created something for you.
Decoding Desire: A 4-Week Immersion
This is a guided experience designed to help you:
- Understand the root causes of low libido
- Reconnect with your body and desire
- Support your hormones and nervous system
- Reclaim your sensuality in a way that feels aligned and natural
Want Ongoing Support for Hormones + Libido?
If you are looking for deeper, ongoing support, the Womanhood Wellness Membership is where we bring all of this work together.
Inside, you’ll find support for:
- Hormone balance
- Libido and intimacy
- Fertility and cycle health
- Energy, mood, and overall well-being
This is a space where you can learn how to work with your body instead of feeling disconnected from it.
Learn more here:
www.womanhoodwellness.com
Final Thoughts
Low libido is not random.
It is not something to ignore or push through.
It is a signal.
And when you understand the hormonal pieces behind it, you can begin to support your body in a way that brings your desire back online.
